This Is Me
So this is me. A person, who at times, I have either loved or hated, healed or harmed, betrayed or honoured, backed or let down.
My journey has been brilliant and barren, easy and hard, confined and limitless, heartbreaking and divine. Either way, in either spaces, this journey has been mine.
I have grown and healed by tending to its frayed threads and stitching myself anew over and over again.
All the threads of my experiences have been woven to make the tapestry of myself. It has been unpicked by others and by experiences and I have grown and healed by tending to its frayed threads and stitching myself anew over and over again.
I have learnt to love and honour the blemished scars of my tapestry for I have only been learning and healing and discovering me.
I wish I was born believing in me, secured inside of who I was and knowing my true worth, but I was not. This I had to learn. Learn to back myself, honour myself, to say no, to believe in me, to have confidence in my thoughts, my voice, myself.
This does not make me weak, nor wrong, nor guilty or to blame, nor malicious or untrue. It’s means I did not really love me nor hold myself in the regard I deserved and that I have made choices, based on prioritising the needs of others, or through fear of reprimand, through insecurity and doubt.
I wish I was born believing in me, secured inside of who I was and knowing my true worth, but I was not. This I had to learn.
The thing I know is, beyond being loved it being understood. And only though the understanding of my self have I been able to love myself and allow myself to believe and honour me.
This is my work and these are the words I hear from those I work with along their journey... ‘You get me, you understand, me’.
It is only through the understanding of our tapestry can we begin to heal and become anew. To be held and hold oneself with compassion, truly offering a space of acceptance and unconditional regard whereby we can be really seen and heard and known beyond our fears and flaws. This is the space we need offered to feel safe and loved. This is the space we need to hold for ourselves and the space we deeply crave to be held. This is the space I practice, the space I am practicing.