This Is Me
Updated: Oct 1, 2021
So this is me. A person, who at times, I have either loved or hated, healed or harmed, betrayed or honoured, backed or let down.
My journey has been brilliant and barren, easy and hard, confined and limitless, heartbreaking and divine. Either way, in either spaces, this journey has been mine.
I have grown and healed by tending to its frayed threads and stitching myself anew over and over again.
All the threads of my experiences have been woven to make the tapestry of myself. It has been unpicked by others and by experiences and I have grown and healed by tending to its frayed threads and stitching myself anew over and over again.
I have learnt to love and honour the blemished scars of my tapestry for I have only been learning and healing and discovering me.
I wish I was born believing in me, secured inside of who I was and knowing my true worth, but I was not. This I had to learn. Learn to back myself, honour myself, to say no, to believe in me, to have confidence in my thoughts, my voice, myself.
This does not make me weak, nor wrong, nor guilty or to blame, nor malicious or untrue. It’s means I did not really love me nor hold myself in the regard I deserved. I have made choices, based on prioritising the needs of others, through fear of reprimand, through insecurity, through pleasing and through doubt.
I wish I was born believing in me, secured inside of who I was and knowing my true worth, but I was not. This I had to learn.
As we explore our tapestry without the critical lens of self judgement and ridicule we create space to understand ourselves, we create space for accepting our flaws and we begin to see that our mistakes and weakness, flaws and failures are just are part of the journey . It is only when we allow ourselves the freedom to love our imperfections and accept our tribulations that life becomes easier.
It is only through the understanding of our tapestry can we begin to heal and become anew. To be held and hold oneself with compassion, truly offering a space of acceptance and unconditional regard whereby we can be really seen and heard and known beyond our fears and flaws. This is the space we need offered to feel safe and loved. This is the space we need to hold for ourselves and the space we deeply crave to be held. This is the space I practice, the space I am practicing. Practice with me.